Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Something A Little Less Depressing

Today went somewhat swiftly. I didn't have time to stop and feel bad about myself except for lunch time. 

Ironic enough, when I take a z-report at the end of the day walking from the subway, I don't see much increase in terms of MoM, YoY or QoQ. I'm gonna throw up comparative shit soon. Jokes aside, I feel like I'm learning some stuff and finally getting to see a bigger picture but the progress is so incremental that the market share is not changing. 

I know your 20s supposed to be awkward and excruciating but give me a break. I'm so off my game that I can't auto-pilot even the most basic tasks. You know, like giving a polite answer to an awfully boring question, copy - paste special'ing, taking a percentage change or looking at where you're going. I have to pay special attention while performing these activities coz I'm way off my game. They used to be so inherently easy tasks. I need my 20s phase to be concluded so that, I can shake off all the confusion and questioning and have some piece of mind. Maybe, then, I can focus and learn something. I'm very frustrated and its just a by-product of taking things out of proportion. My magnifier goggles are on. I need to chill a little and have some faith. Stop, what do you mean faith? 
Yeap, it's that easy for me to start questioning the purpose of life and other philosophical concepts. Going back to where we left of, overthinking and over-dwelling on shit will kill me.

Is there a TED video on learning to keep your chin up and keep learning while failing depresingly often? 

Imagine the first two seconds of remembering how to ride a bike. Your whole world shakes in those two seconds as if the floor is icy. I feel like stuck in those two seconds everyday. I gotta get a grip on this job thing, yesterday! 

I shall contemplate the best NYC trip as a gift for myself hoping that this miserable episode will end by October.

I have to admit today was a little less painful. I made it through without blood and tears. But, I need a game changing wild card to get my shit together. I need a mental dialysis and a good night sleep.

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