Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Some days, they just start (&end) better than others

Some days, are simply better than others. You wake up (preferably 5 min before the alarm) naturally and you feel rested. You don't obsess about the errands you need to run while waiting for your morning coffee. At that very moment, one should pause and think: its a better day!
You eat healthy that day and may be exercise a little. - exercise may be in terms of taking the stairs instead of the elevator or you go to the gym during lunch. You finish up the 3-meetings-in-a-row run before you know it. Towards the end of the working hours, if you feel like you've completed 80% of your to-dos and you have no emergencies to handle you should feel lucky. 
And if you are so priviledged like me, you may get the chance to play with your mates and laugh a little at the end of the day. When you joke around with your boss and collegues and don't feel stuck in your cubicle. You should take a longer pause and think: it was a better day!
So, appreciate it!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

What are the freaking odds lan?

Its an absurd sunday. Not even a tiny bit relaxing nor entertaining but an absurd sunday. Kept talking to myself "what are the freaking odds lan?". Its funny how you realize your own patterns and they are shockingly consistent, so perfect for a pattern that, as if its a straight line. 

I found all the interesting things in all the unexpected places with a certain date-tag on them. I just didn't realize until this very sunday which turned out to be quite absurd. I over-freaking-analyze everything but it turns out that its a misconcentration of my energy. Hah! Shit happens..

You're supposed to be somewhat aware of yout first times right? Coz, your memory serves at best on vertexes.Typically, a 1st time of something (assuming the event has importance to you in some sense) its either a good or a bad memory but its always a more significant piece of memory than others. So, why am I not fully aware of the things surrounding a couple of very big firsts of mine? wtf? I must examine.     

It may be a sign of my ignorance and consumption without pausing for a proper moment and think. I can hear GKS saying "Saaaad!".

Realizing my first ofns and the one who clearly doesn't know the meaning of ofns share the same date was hilarious.

Further exploring, I found many other stuff tied together. 

I like reading that girl. I don't usually read girls. Not that I'm politically opposed to or they are rare, its just like Berilate says "the way I are". But I like reading her stuff. Bizarre enough, I always see the lines to connect. But clearly, I was looking but not seeing through. 

As I grasp the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but "accidentally" saw something else. Forget bizarre, forget peculiar. This is goddamn straight absurd! Very first and evidentally the only proper ofnf share the same date with the king of the right one. 

Dates? no dates, colors, stories, not even attitudes, proved to be worthy of my attention before. But, I sure have a pattern. 

First you go like "what are the odds?" then you calculate the odds and find out that this is a time of realization that will stick with you for a good amount of time. Remember the last instance where you realized something? Sure! Quite interestingly, realization is a vivid process. You literally take a step out, see the bigger picture from the top and have a certain feeling of "aaa-ha" possibly accompanied with some either disturbing or rewarding feelings. Then the experience stick with you for good. Its like a roller coster ride. You remember the chill (not so vividly all the time but still always do) when you think of the experience or see something similar. - coz its easy to recognize. 

Soi, realizing the absurdness of this sunday will stick around with its possibly (in the long run) insignificant  learnings.

İyi güldük ama be!

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

All the fucks I don't have

I am particularly indifferent today. It may be cause of the relapse of drama back in my life or oldies but goldies run over the weekend. On a second thought, it may be cause of all the partying. I might not be getting "old" in a general sense where you value 40 as the golden years but my metabolism begs to differ. Anyway, I am so not here today. 

I literally forced myself out of the bed. "Force" here, my friends, is not used in the sense of Star Wars' force but in a more like a pushing the heavy, suffocating 'morning in bed' temptation with full of regrets. I was expecting to feel like I accomplished a huge deal when I arrived at the office with just 30 min delay, but no, I couldn't find a single fuck to give. It didn't matter whether I fullfilled my responsibilities or not. 

Now, right after lunch, which took 10 min since I can't even be bothered to chew anything so I only had soup, please all of you come over here and look at all the fuck I give in terms of performance indicators, end-to-end analysis and the total big picture. You cannot imagine the immensity of indifference I have today. Its enough for all the monthly reports, weekly updates and year-end reviews.