Sunday, 16 December 2012

Productivity at it's best

Productivity is a hard state of mind to hold on to.

When we come across with something that inspires us, we feel an urge to produce our own, express ourself and get it out of our chest. It's those times we are most productive.

Music always helps though.

Music puts you in a mood of high concentration and endless thoughts. 
I reckon it makes us wonder into new worlds where we don't take ourselves so seriously.

Nothing feels like waking up at the end of a song and following back your thoughts and just be amazed.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Oh, grow up already!

Grow up and look good. 
What's the point of maturing anyway? 

You feel the urge to pull your shit together and get on with life because you don't want to feel like a failure when you look back in a few years. And you can no longer wash a hangover off of your face with some organic soap and mild pharmaceuticals you bought when you were high.

Classically, you claim you no longer get wasted. You are too old for that shit. You only drawn youself in your misery on special occasions like your best friend's bachelor's. 

The one and only good side of growing up is that you're supposed to like yourself even more. You have spent enough time to know and just be fascinated by yourself. Please please, have some self-respect by now and don't let people hurt you in any way. 

For that, you actually need to know how to say "no". I know, it's a pain in the ass. 

They say, "when you are younger, you equate love with mind games, manipulation, and experiencing insane high and lows.". But you've grown up and besides, you have disappointed in yourself and so many others so many times before. So now, you find relationships boring, emotions doomed-to-end and feelings dull.

You may be critical of claimed love stories and people getting married to show themselves that they are worthy of being loved and you find it somewhat pathetic, you don't have walk of shames on saturday mornings. You'd rather iHome on Fridays, may be, have a friend over. You do not need diamonds and glitter to be poured all over you to shine. And you certainly don't need to be the centre of the world for a day because you had been loved way too much for that crazy shit since you were a child. But you don't hook up with random strangers. Remember, you had developed self-respect on paragraph four!

With growing up here comes the strings attached. You need to actually go to the gym twice a week and let everyone know that. You cook and you're proud of it way too bluntly. Save up money just to go on overseas trips but always have some more on the side to invest. Yes, you've heard me. You need to put your financial consultant hat on and plan your alleged future and acknowledge the world's problems. You can stay irrelevant to world's calendar because you know bank credits, exchange rates and weather forecasts for at least 3 countries. 

Besides travel, you need to have a very mature and fullfilling hobby. All admirable grown ups have a cool hobby. Say it's photography, wine tasting or horse riding it needs to be a little expensive and requires an enterance criteria. It's always better if the hobby requires you to wear special gear like snowboarding or kitesurf. You can always be a research junkie and write your blog, too. 


Wednesday, 14 November 2012

How we remember, how we remind ourselves

The NPR Daily Picture Show is a great distraction. You get to see a bunch of photos and learn about some genuinely interesting stuff. Its a great way to distract yourself from listening to the news pieces on All Things Considered =) You'd still listen, though. 

The piece on propaganda on Chinese art got my attention earlier today.  They've got a whole museum of weird stuff and you'll be fascinated by the pics this piece have. 

This one shows Mao announcing the new "people's republic" concept and one guy on the far right disappears on one version of the same scene. Its like having two different apostles in the last supper! 

It's a perfect showcase of us being shown two sides of a coin with tangible evidence. And they have it in a museum for god's sake?! Respect! They remind themselves the twisted politics are there to keep us from remembering it straight.

Thursday, 8 November 2012

5 Stages Of A Relationship

1- Define

During this very 1st stage, you’re expected to go through a phase which is famous for its glorious levels of expectation. You’re meant to define the bond as a formal relationship and you need to get your hands dirty to get it done. You listen to music, read a lot of relatable stuff and say that you’d like to keep it in your life for just a little while longer than once you look and you’ll see that you’re in deep shit. Now, you have to define it. 

2- Make your move
So, you define it. You make your move to get you two to talk it out of your chests. Introduce the gigantic elephant in the room. Make it so delicately and eloquently that its almost refreshing to talk it for a change, except denying its very existence.

3- Get lucky 
You need to and I mean really need to get lucky at that point. So, do your due diligence. Collect the signs and connect the dots. Make a through analysis of what you want and need (so that you don’t relate to stuff that much next time) and what might he be interested in. And get lucky!

4- Get lucky and keep it cool OR Don’t get lucky and keep it cool
Whatever comes from that flip of a coin; heads or tails, keep it cool. Freeze and act like it’s what you’ve known all along and you just made things whole a lot easier just out of boredem. Get bored and act upon it. See it through.

5- Realize
At this point realize that you dont feel the same anymore and you just can’t go through that episode of communicating with the other and realize that it’s what happens. Things cease to exist. And you resalize that one moment. You feel comfortable in that moment. And get out to act upon it.

Monday, 8 October 2012


Lesley Hazelton says "to quote is to misquote" ahahah! 
But, its so true, words taken out of concept, interrupted, do not necessarily tells us the whole story that is why we feel the urge to start from the begining and walk through the steps. This is why high school girls forward whatsapp conversations. 

Interpretation on the other hand is a whole another story.
You say 'glaciers have melted the sea', I hear 'things gotten closer to the sun'.

There is so much subtext in any conversation that its pretty tricky to hear whats actually being said. It also makes you load your sentences with answers to conversations that have not taken place. Its as if an imaginary conversation is taken place and we just hear some bits. Like we are quoting from those imaginary conversations. Thats why we don't make sense, that's how we complicate stuff.

Interpretation requires a certain knowledge and experience but these are so subjective merits that its almost an oxymoron in itself. 

So why not simplify the shit out of conversations and get rid of the baggage?

I reckon its because we know better. You can go so far with bluntness. People either will want to still interpret your words and write another story or, will not take it good. You know, some people cannot handle straight up truth easily since they are not used to it. So, we maintain a certain level of disguise in our conversations. We interpret what the other party says and garnish our words for that person to peel off the layers and get to the real stuff. 

There is so much tension and it takes so much efforts to communicate that I sometimes want to cut all cords of communication and sit still. Since there is no point in putting an effort to be understood by and to understand one another, I feel like saying 'talk to the hand'.

Thursday, 23 August 2012


Loyalty is a funny thing which surprizes you most of the time. Sometimes you cannot believe your actions that are undertaken in the name of loyalty and other time the act of loyalty warms your heart.

Loyalty means expectations and expectations are always rough on you. So, why are we loyal again? I guess, to make life further complicated to manage.

Looking one side of the loyalty concept where you devote yourself to a certain concept; a brand, a friend, a school of thought..something..anything..

You must believe that there is a gain at the end of the deal so that you bet on this. You are loyal to a brand because you believe that the brand gives you something you want/need. But this assumption of future gain actually puts you in expectation of a not-promised gain. And expectations..they are rough.
Loyalty clouds your judgement and messes with your rationality. A. you no longer actively judge the value of the gain- if you're still getting it, B. you tend to not evaluate the rest of the things you're losing/missing out on.
It must be quite hard on a rational person so we tend to lose our rational as we become more loyal.

Expectations have the possibility to fail you. That's why I hate to find myself in the expectation of something. It doesn't matter how often the expectations cause a disappointment. Disappointment is always disappointment regardless of its nature, frequency and scale. So, why bother developing potential bombs (expectatiaons), why be loyal?

On the other side of the coin, lies the satisfying moment of being the person to be loyal to. Maybe its the superfreaky human nature that develops a sick bond between being loyal and been loyal to, as a result people wanting to be loyal to feel the loyalty hunger in themselves. At the end, we are a kind that has professionalized in justifying stupid actuvity in absence of certain other things. Or may be, loyalty will be an era like mass production that we study in marketing courses where we say "after that, custimization era started and changed many things in the industry".

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Change is refreshing

Boşuna tebdil-i mekanda ferahlık vardır demiyorlar, change is really refreshing and uplifting. 


Somedays, you just have to drag ourselves into out off the bed and off to a meeting room. You know that nothing is wrong with that meeting, and it in fact might be useful to a certain extend but you just can't bear the thought of carrying yourself that far. It was one of those days. But it all turned out well. 

Professionally, today's big meeting was quite fruitfull but it was even more fruitfull personally. Seeing people from your past is a weird thing. Hope it always feels this good.  
It always gives you a chance to glance over the years that passed by and where you've ended up. You remember how things felt then and compare to how they feel at the moment. Better hope you've not lost your perspective and over-reacted. It's hard to snap out of the moment's captiveness and see the bigger picture to take back the control.

In the daily rat race, you don't pause and spontaneously appreciate the moment and take a step back to get perspective. You need change to do that. That's the beauty of change; gives you a new perspective hence the refreshing feeling. You need to do things differently, you need the change on a daily basis. Otherwise, you'll get lost. You need to exploit every opportunity that could bring you some good-quality change.

Change on a professional level is more than necessary on a daily basis. You need it almost every other hour! Listening to the dynamics of another industry was a great mental gymnastic today. I realized why i loved the marketing courses at uni. I liked the idea of changing topics every other week and studying different cases. 

It feels like a splash of cold water in your face.   

p.s. change is good, embrace it

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Travel often: getting lost will help you find yourself - Amsterdam Reloaded

Travel often: getting lost will help you find yourself - Amsterdam reloaded

It's fascinating, it's calming you down, it's the right dose of quiet and noise that you need to concentrate on pure nothing.  

Pleasent redefined(!)

Enjoy the show!

It's an undersea experience in the morning

It's a different undersea experience in the evening

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Beauty is in..the looks or the eye of the be holder?

To all my colleagues who repeatedly comment on how i look,

i would like to point out that, there is no correlation between how nice of a work i produce and how nice of a look i have. its not like when i am on high heels i see the bigger picture more clearly. i so don't need to look serious let alone act serious in order for my work to be serious. - i see how motivational it can be to suit up but when you suit up at 6.30 am, you replace more than 50% of the motivation with sleep deprevation. so what's the point?

i am quite a colorful person and possibly due to the excess color in me, i don't feel the urge to color myself up specially in the mornings. and i know how society's standards/expectations are way more colored, thank you very much, but i simply am not disturb by the paleness. i can't be bothered to play the artist and put together a master piece that early in the morning. i can assure you though, i prepare very colorful charts and graphs in so very colorful presentations. stop asking me whether i am sick coz i look so pale, lady! i freaking am pale by nature and i am fine with it. learn it already and keep your judgement to yourself. and men, do us a favor and stop being so conscious of those stuff.

i have to admit though i am fascinated by how good of a job other ladies do. some of them just beat . i just don't have it in me but i salute yours.

but guys, you all need to chill a little. trust me, i'll do a good job 1.60 cm, make-up free, casually dressed.

p.s. my work's beauty is not subjective. it sometimes can be scientifically proven and be beautiful. only "i" don't look good all the time.

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Create a job for yourself

till then, you just have to suck it up and get to work at 8 am.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Some days, they just start (&end) better than others

Some days, are simply better than others. You wake up (preferably 5 min before the alarm) naturally and you feel rested. You don't obsess about the errands you need to run while waiting for your morning coffee. At that very moment, one should pause and think: its a better day!
You eat healthy that day and may be exercise a little. - exercise may be in terms of taking the stairs instead of the elevator or you go to the gym during lunch. You finish up the 3-meetings-in-a-row run before you know it. Towards the end of the working hours, if you feel like you've completed 80% of your to-dos and you have no emergencies to handle you should feel lucky. 
And if you are so priviledged like me, you may get the chance to play with your mates and laugh a little at the end of the day. When you joke around with your boss and collegues and don't feel stuck in your cubicle. You should take a longer pause and think: it was a better day!
So, appreciate it!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

What are the freaking odds lan?

Its an absurd sunday. Not even a tiny bit relaxing nor entertaining but an absurd sunday. Kept talking to myself "what are the freaking odds lan?". Its funny how you realize your own patterns and they are shockingly consistent, so perfect for a pattern that, as if its a straight line. 

I found all the interesting things in all the unexpected places with a certain date-tag on them. I just didn't realize until this very sunday which turned out to be quite absurd. I over-freaking-analyze everything but it turns out that its a misconcentration of my energy. Hah! Shit happens..

You're supposed to be somewhat aware of yout first times right? Coz, your memory serves at best on vertexes.Typically, a 1st time of something (assuming the event has importance to you in some sense) its either a good or a bad memory but its always a more significant piece of memory than others. So, why am I not fully aware of the things surrounding a couple of very big firsts of mine? wtf? I must examine.     

It may be a sign of my ignorance and consumption without pausing for a proper moment and think. I can hear GKS saying "Saaaad!".

Realizing my first ofns and the one who clearly doesn't know the meaning of ofns share the same date was hilarious.

Further exploring, I found many other stuff tied together. 

I like reading that girl. I don't usually read girls. Not that I'm politically opposed to or they are rare, its just like Berilate says "the way I are". But I like reading her stuff. Bizarre enough, I always see the lines to connect. But clearly, I was looking but not seeing through. 

As I grasp the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but "accidentally" saw something else. Forget bizarre, forget peculiar. This is goddamn straight absurd! Very first and evidentally the only proper ofnf share the same date with the king of the right one. 

Dates? no dates, colors, stories, not even attitudes, proved to be worthy of my attention before. But, I sure have a pattern. 

First you go like "what are the odds?" then you calculate the odds and find out that this is a time of realization that will stick with you for a good amount of time. Remember the last instance where you realized something? Sure! Quite interestingly, realization is a vivid process. You literally take a step out, see the bigger picture from the top and have a certain feeling of "aaa-ha" possibly accompanied with some either disturbing or rewarding feelings. Then the experience stick with you for good. Its like a roller coster ride. You remember the chill (not so vividly all the time but still always do) when you think of the experience or see something similar. - coz its easy to recognize. 

Soi, realizing the absurdness of this sunday will stick around with its possibly (in the long run) insignificant  learnings.

İyi güldük ama be!

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

All the fucks I don't have

I am particularly indifferent today. It may be cause of the relapse of drama back in my life or oldies but goldies run over the weekend. On a second thought, it may be cause of all the partying. I might not be getting "old" in a general sense where you value 40 as the golden years but my metabolism begs to differ. Anyway, I am so not here today. 

I literally forced myself out of the bed. "Force" here, my friends, is not used in the sense of Star Wars' force but in a more like a pushing the heavy, suffocating 'morning in bed' temptation with full of regrets. I was expecting to feel like I accomplished a huge deal when I arrived at the office with just 30 min delay, but no, I couldn't find a single fuck to give. It didn't matter whether I fullfilled my responsibilities or not. 

Now, right after lunch, which took 10 min since I can't even be bothered to chew anything so I only had soup, please all of you come over here and look at all the fuck I give in terms of performance indicators, end-to-end analysis and the total big picture. You cannot imagine the immensity of indifference I have today. Its enough for all the monthly reports, weekly updates and year-end reviews.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

i lost my juju, i am bored

As i get off work by 10 pm, i realized i became the most boring version of me. i cancel ski trips due to business reviews, i can't make plans which would require a whole week of vacation, i can't even get a hair cut during the week since no hair saloon is open after 9 and more importantly i don't do anything new on the weekends because i just can't be bothered to(!)
its not that work sucks the life out of me, work can even be energizing since i have good company to play with but i just simply lack the motivation to amaze myself. i just can't be bothered to get out of bed and out of the apartment. i even can't get out of the same application coz i just don't have the urge to explore more.
i stopped asking questions a couple of weeks ago. i am so not interested in the world. my interest and eagerness to explore so than know more have disappeared. one day i woke up and i was alone. its like as if they made plans and exclueded me or i wasn't invited to the same party and simply was left alone at home.
i lost my juju :S
i need that spark of interest and eagerness back in me. i am just not into the world anymore but since i bothered to write about it, its a good sign.
it depresses ne. i am so bored with this whole dull version of my world that i literally am sad.
i reckon it can be a symptom of corporate infection but nevertheless i need to get it over with. i am seriously bored.
i remembered steve jobs talking about the need to change something after waking up for so many consecutive days and feeling unfullfilled. i reckon this satisfies the criteria.
Let the search for change to find some interest in life begin!

Saturday, 21 January 2012

TV is a drug, a drug that reinforces you to eat

Ed Turner once said: "If we had had the right technology back than, you would have seen Eva Braun on the Donahue show and Adolf Hitler on Meet the Press.". 

TV is like eating when you know you're getting fat in an unhealthy way. You get the satisfaction from eating  that you kid yourself to undermine the fact that its abuse, almost like an eating disorder. It makes you borderline obese and danger your health/life but you somehow manage to like it, watch it more. That shit is freaking toxic but who am I kidding we all have TV Forecast HD on our iPads(?!)

Friday, 6 January 2012

Amazing people I play with

I often find myself being stared at, especially at the office. Coz, I have so much fun while working. It's not like I am one of those over-enthusiactic and over-motivated corporate employees. One can even say I am hard to motivate and therefore work with. - specially when problems repeat which is all the time. But I am so priviledged to have amazing people to work with. Work transforms into play with these guys. They are like my playmates; I laugh with them and enjoy myself and I know its almost impossible to do so in our play ground. I also annoy them when I am annoyed. - I'm not sure whether they would complain or not but I do state whatever's bugging me and force them to recognize that statement. I feel safe, surrounded by people who won't intentionally upset me and whom I feel comfortable sitting next to. And that's pretty amazing!
These two people I work with are so unique and fascinating that I have a huge smile or comfort of some sort whenever I interact with them. I either smile or laugh hard if not stay cool and chilled in piece with them. I enjoy playing with them.
I'm fascinated with this in this moment coz I burned my hand today, during lunch. Around 4pm, I got out of a day-long workshop and finally sit between Haliloglu and ThugLove_ with an empty stomach, T pealed his mandalinas and offered me since I wasn't able to peal them myself. It warmed by heart! Not only sharing his food but also feeding me when I can't eat on my own. Boy, I am amazed.
Than during dinner, O saw me getting in line while he was sitting at the other end and eating. He jumped up and reached to carry my tray for me since I can't hold it still with one hand and put food with at the sametime. Literally, a drop of tear appeared on my eye. I was feeling some sort of gratitude and warmth in my heart. I was double amazed.
Knowing so little about and spending so little time with, yet still, feel so dear and deeply.
So, I get to have my cake and eat it too. I play with my mates at a 8 to 5 basis each day.
I am damn straight priviledged.